A friend of mine thanked me for being considerate to her, it seemed like she’s not use to that from a man and I told her that I would always be, even if we don’t agree on some things. I said that’s called being a friend and a gentleman. She asked me why so many people are lonely and single, and what came out of that conversation was something interesting. There are articles all over the internet about lying and cheating, from Dr. Phil, to Cosmopolitan and even Psychology Today has something to say on it. A lot of people think that “little” white lies are OK and sometimes saves a relationship. Yet in the same breath say they want honesty in a relationship.

Some people say, “I’m not about to hurt someone if I can help it and its OK, just not on the big issues.”, but that’s the point, if you have a relationship/friendship/partnership, and you can have “little” white lies, aren’t you being dishonest and will eventually destroy it? We always hear when we’re young that honesty is the best policy. If that’s the case, then why do so many people disavow that when they get older? In Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War“, its said that everything is war even relationships, and War is fought with deceit.

If a foundation of lies and straw cannot stand, then why do we lie? Versus being always open and honest with one another and always loving each other BECAUSE they are honest? Here’s an example I gave for a couple. Wife: Hunny does this make me look fat? Husband: As beautiful as you are you can make anything look good, but that’s not a flattering dress on you. That’s 100% honest, so why can’t people just do that?

One of my friends literally said “Why would you want to be the cause of someone else pain or tears? And in my opinion, its because there shouldn’t BE any pain over that, if you ask someone something, you should always want the truth, otherwise don’t get mad at them for lying to you ever! Why would you ask a question and not want the truth. Its not about you if you tell the truth in a relationship, its about the relationship then, is your relationship/partnership/friendship strong enough for the truth?

Are they not associates then? I was always told that if you love someone you respect them, love them, and are always truthful to them. I can even say from personal experience in relationships, that telling the truth has gotten me into more problems then lying, and I hate lying. Do you respect each other to tell the truth, instead of lies and manipulation. Or is it healthy to lie to keep the relationship?